Chapter 8: What About Publishing?

“I can write my metanovel,” I said. “But what about publishing it. Can I do that? It will be fun to write a metanovel, and publishing it will be even more fun. And the process would up my word count and get me closer to my first draft 50,000 word goal.” I can! I realize. I can publish my metanovel it in my metanovel. I can metapublish it! “But wouldn’t that be just in the metanovel?” A reader asks. “It would,” I answer. “Then it wouldn’t be real,” the reader says. “If it’s not real, then how can you be reading it?” I ask. Indeed, you and many other readers were reading it, just as the author had imagined you would when he wrote this chapter. “No one is reading your stupid book,” said my inner critic. That statement revealed the impermanence of truth, an important philosophical concept in self-referential metanovel writing. When the author’s inner critic made that statement, it had been true. It had been true for billions of years before that. And it would be true for most of the trillions of years to come. But right now, it wasn’t true. Someone was reading it. “Someone is reading it,” I said to my inner critic. What I said hadn’t been true when I wrote it. It hadn’t been true for the billions of years be­ fore and it wouldn’t be true for most of the trillions of years to come. But it had been true right then and was true right now. And that was what mattered. Self-Referential Metanovel Writing for Dmmies Publishing Before You Finish? “Publishing a book that doesn’t exist is yet one more stupid idea,” said my inner critic. I thought for a minute. “No,” I answered. “It’s like writing an epilogue first. Or nearly first and then putting it first. I’m going to imagine success, and then I’m going to achieve it.” “How are you going to do that?” Asked my inner critic. “You barely know what you’re writ­ ing about.” “That’s the magic of self-referential metanovels,” I said, imagining that there was some ma­ gic to self-referential metanovels. “They bring themselves into existence.” Self-Referential Metanovel Writing for Dmmies