Chapter 12: How To Create A Muse Without A Muse

Just a moment ago I had been just about to write a chapter I was going to call Getting An Editor. Unaccountably I turned back to page 46 and reread the Publisher’s words. Am I glad I did! “On second thought,” he had said “a muse. Yes. A muse. Much better than an editor. A muse is exactly what you need. Get a muse!”

How could I have forgotten that? I wondered.

A muse, not an editor. A muse could help me fix my book. A muse would be my solution.

But that solution led to a problem. How could I create a muse? To create any sort of character I’d need to conceive of it. To conceive of a muse I’d either have to have had experience with a muse, or have to have been inspired. Since I’d never had a muse, I had no experience. Since I had no experience, I’d have to be inspired. But to be inspired I’d need a muse, because muses are the sources of inspiration. I needed to have what I didn’t have to get what I needed to have. In other words, I was screwed.

If there was one thing you could say about me it was that there was more than one thing that you could say about me, and one of the things you could say about me is that I am stubborn.

I wouldn’t give up.

I tried Wikipedia hoping to get second-hand experience with a muse, but the articles I read didn’t give me enough experience to create one. And they weren’t the least bit inspiring.

Then, suddenly, I knew that in the very next paragraph, I would know that I would have the answer! I could hardly wait to end this sentence and start to write it.

A metamuse! A metamuse, and evolution! A metamuse and evolution and a new chapter!

It’s A Trap!

“Don’t create a metamuse,” the metanovel said. “It’s a trap! It’s going to lead to trouble. And I won’t exist. Please don’t do it.”

“I’m sorry I’ve missed your call,” typed the adversary. “I’m either on the phone or away from my desk. But your call is very important to me. Please leave a message, along with your telephone number, and I’ll return your call as soon as I can.”