Prologue 3: Sorry. You Burn In Hell.

Since you are a reader of this metanovel, you are a character in this metanovel, and since you are a character you might be worried that the adversary’s plan to get the antimuse into the metanovel will be successful, and that in ending the metanovel’s existence your existence will be compromised. Sadly you’ve got bigger things to worry about. This book’s Not Quite Omniscient Narrator has some bad news to narrate.

Very bad.

Bad for you.

Sit down.

Brace yourself.

Think back to Prologue 1. Look back to Prologue 1 on page 9 if thinking is too hard. Think or look back to the warning you were given. The one you ignored. The warning not to replace the asterisks in God’s words with something else.

You ignored it!

You must have ignored it!

A rash of recent karma-affecting events have overloaded God’s automated Karma Calculator, so your karma recalculation has been delayed. But now your karma has caught up with you.

You replaced the asterisks with letters that put vileness into God’s mouth, otherwise why would you be reading this? Otherwise why would the Not Quite Omniscient Narrator be narrating it?

Otherwise why would you be getting this bad karma notice?

The author tried to warn you. He wrote a warning footnote³? Remember that? And in the text he reminded you to read the footnote. Remember that?

Either you weren’t paying attention or you didn’t give a shit.

Either way, it’s bad news.

For putting vileness in God’s mouth you are condemned to burn in Hell.

Starting in just a few moments.

And for all eternity.

Sorry.

Criticism: Burning In Hell?

“Do you expect anyone to believe they are burning in Hell because of your stupid prologue,” asks my inner critic.

“If they’re burning in Hell,” I answer, “does it matter what they believe?”