Chapter 22: I Know Where I Am!

I looked around me in wonder. The world had changed. “Alright,” I said to God. “I know where I am. I’m at the center of the universe.” “That’s what I always told you, Michael,” said Mom. “Yes, Mom,” I said, “but you meant it figuratively, not literally. And you said I was the cen­ ter of Dad’s universe. God’s telling me that I am at the center of the universe. The whole uni­ verse. And so is everyone else.” “That’s right,” said God. “Now how can you not enjoy life when I’ve made you the center of all of creation?” “You might be taking some liberties with the physics,” I said to God, after I’d done some more research, “but damn! It feels good to stand here and feel the universe all around me.” “God can take all the liberties She wants to,” said my mother. “She’s God. That’s even better than being QFE.” “What’s QFE,” asked the metanovel. “It was my mother’s title before she died,” I answered. “Mom was Queen of Fucking Everything.” “Was then, am now,” said Mom. “I’m just DQFE.” I turned back to God. “It’s pretty cool,” I said. “It’s more than just cool,” God said. “Now that you know where you are, in the center of the universe, let’s work on understanding what you are.” “Alright,” I said. “In the next chapter,” God said. Self-Referential Metanovel Writing for D*mmies