Chapter 32: Practice!

Practice! That’s what I was trying to do. That had become the point of my writing. Writing to win NaNoWriMo was long in my past. I was writing my self-referential metanovel with its imaginary God and imaginary Not Quite Omniscient Narrator and its imaginary reader to remind me to do what I’d been reminding myself to do for years: to practice. Practice would help me make changes in my life that I hadn’t been able to make. I had wanted to live my life intentionally, but I had not, because I had not practiced. “You are such a moron,” said my inner critic. “You’ve known that for years. You’ve re­ minded yourself that dozens of times. You’ve written more than 600 pages trying to remind yourself of something that you’d know if you weren’t so stupid.” “There’s a reason he’s doing this,” said God. “Shut up and let him think.” “Yes,” said Mom. “Shut up!” I thought. But I had no answer. I needed to remember to practice. But how could I remember to practice unless I first practiced remembering. Which I never remembered to do. “Can you give me a hint,” I asked God. “I believe that I have the answer, but I don’t know how to articulate it.” “Ask the doorknob,” God said. “The doorknob will tell you.” Self-Referential Metanovel Writing for D*mmies