Chapter 27: Work! Practice!

“Work?” I asked. “Work,” God repeated. “Practice! I made the universe so everyone could enjoy it all the time. But I’m not a commie. Everyone has to work. Sure, some get undeserved, unearned enjoy­ ment. And sometimes bad things happen to good people. Accidents happen to accidents. But if you want to enjoy life the way I intend you to, you’ve got to do the work. “I work,” I said. “I get into a bad situation or I feel bad from time to time. And when that happens I dig in and work my way through. I’ve always managed to work my way through. And I’m pretty proud of myself for doing that.” “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve read in 177 pages,” said God. “What do you mean, it’s stupid?” I asked. “Not just stupid,” God said. “You’ve written plenty of stupid things. This is the stupidest. You start to work only after things go bad. That’s stupid. It’s like waiting until you’ve had a heart attack to start working on your cardio, or waiting until your back goes out to start working on your core. “And then you work your way out of the bad situations or bad feelings. That’s stupid, too, because you quit working as soon as you can get away with it rather than continuing to work so that you become strong and healthy and then stay strong and healthy. “And the stupidest thing is that you’re proud of being that stupid. That makes you stupid squared. Maybe cubed.” God paused and let me think about it. I thought about it. God had a point. I nodded, and She continued. “The time to start working on your body is when you’re healthy,” God said, “not when you’re sick. And you keep working to stay strong. Every day. You don’t quit as soon as a muscle pops up. Enjoying life is a skill, not an entitlement. Work on building that skill when things are going well, not just when they’re going badly. Work so you can enjoy life even when things go wrong.” “At least I enjoy life when things are going well,” I said. “That’s something.” “No you don’t,” said God. “You imagine you’re enjoying life, but you’re not. You’re in-joy­ ing, not en-joying. En-joying is active. En-joying is putting joy into it, not taking in the joy that’s already there. That’s what en-joying means. If there’s no joy in an experience, you put joy into it. If there’s some joy there, you add to it. You en-joy when you don’t need to en-joy, so you can in- joy when things are tough.” “What if I can’t find any joy in a situation that I’m in?” I asked. “What if things really suck?” God looked me. “What did I tell you before. Death sucks. Life never does.” She snapped her fingers, and the chapter ended. Self-Referential Metanovel Writing for D*mmies